insomnia is creeping back into my life

3:20 am still no sleep.

i went off this medication i had been taking for the past year for migraines. the medication didn't work but it made me sleepy all the time which sucked during the day but was great at night since i was out like a light. even if i had a million things on my mind i'd pretty much be sleeping when it was time to hit the pillow. sigh...

i'm back to my old ways it seems. only two days off this wonderous sleepy pill slash worst pill ever since it induced my migraines and i cant sleep no matter what. it sucks. is wonderous a word... if it is i just spelled it wrong not once but twice.

i wish i could do something useful with this time. like learn a new language, draw something, or read a book. but i dont have the capacity for any of that when i dont sleep. late hours like this my mind is on overdrive which means a lot for someone who already thinks a lot to the point where i say and do things that dont make sense, because im always in my mind never paying attention to what is right in front me. well not always but a good majority of those lovely daylight hours. perhaps most people are like that but im going to go with most people not being like that....

i probably sound like some crazy person on a rant. or maybe i only sound crazy when i put it in your head by writing that.... interesting thought.

well at least i have one friend who is awake... but that's because he's in another time zone it's 12 hours ahead where he is... man i'm f*cked tomorrow since i still havent slept. it's now 4am... uhhh...

night school isn't going to help me at all come fall. it's just going to reinforce this badness...

Zooey Deschanel

This girl has it...
I love her eyes and what an amazing voice, speaking and singing.

I saw 500 days of summer yesterday. perhaps that's where this sudden fascination with zooey deschanel is coming from. such a great movie, inspiring, sad, etc.....

Lamb with no Skin VS boot with Foriegn Gum

There sure is nothing else like having a fresh wad of someone else's gum on your boot. Especially when it's smells fresh and has various pieces of other peoples hair on it...

I think this piece of gum was my wake up call. After looking at this photo one can't deny that these boots are beyond done. A good pair of boots are the kind worn in but mine are the kind you can put your finger through.

I love how when I told my friend lex about this piece of gum she begged me not to talk about it because it was grossing her out. Meanwhile she has a photo of her self holding a dead lamb... wait not done. A dead lamb with out it's skin. It's all bloody and fleshy. I can admire an animal dead or alive myself but not to fond of the idea of flesh. I like bones though. I'm temped to post this photo of her she has out and about. But I can't even look at it.

I had Chicken for dinner tonight and I was grossed out by this wad of veins I found. Yes wad. there was a bunch all entangled. It really grossed me out. I get that it's meat and animals have veins but I can't bare to see anything that resembles a vein on something I'm eating.

God I really really really don't want to go to work tomorrow or the next day. I need a job but does the job have to suck. How many people are happy to be at work? It sucks too because most of my time is definitely spent at work.

Mufffenss ♥

Long time no post. Lately I have all these thoughts rolling around like Mexican jumping beans in my head... Ever have that toy when you were a kid. My sister had one I always envied that toy, it looked like a pill, one side pink the other white. When you would place it on the table it would stand straight up against gravity. So simple, yet it gives so much pleasure. Oh to the simple things. Perhaps that's not even that what that toy was called....

I found this great bagel place by work. The last two days it's been bagel and a muffin. I love muffins. :)

You know what else I love going to lunch after being cooped up in a window less office all day. So yes I smile as I walk to get some food. I'm a joy face teethy smile girl when it's lunch time. There I was minding my own smile in the bagel store when I forgot that smiling can catch the wrong kind of attention. This guy saw my smile and I guess he took it for more then it was. Perhaps he thought I'd never smiled till I'd seen his face. As soon as I realized the implication of my smile I refrained and looked down. He kept smiling at me, eagerly trying to get some eye contact with me.... Gosh can't a girl just smile.

Perhaps I'm wrong, maybe I imagined the whole thing, I certainly think too much I wouldn't put it past me to over analyze any situation.... Any who that's all for now....

Ted Turner

I would like to meet Ted Turner he seems like a fun guy. Perhaps "man" would be a better word seeing how he is 70. Maybe Ted has a job for me. Maybe if we meet my job worries will be no more.

Ted Turner where are you?

I'm thinking maybe I should post my resume on craigslist and someone can find me. I'm sick of looking for a job. I'd rather be sought out. I'm looking to work somewhere interesting. I have lots of skills, none of which I will disclose on my blog. I have a pretty descent smile. And I am a pleasure to be around. ;) Hire me!

I recently was informed that my only option for a roommate has moved out on his own already. Seeing how I don't have a job, there is not much I can protest about that.

I'm in the midst of talking to someone who is quite egotistical. Nothing beats someone who truly is in love with themselves and thinks their mere existence is great accomplishment. Perhaps this is a good perspective to have. Maybe I've underestimated the power of self love.

THE POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHT

today some amazing events took place...
i left my wallet at home... and only realized when i went to buy this dress that obviously belongs to me. but tomorrow its mine MINE.....mine mine mine mine

went on a promising interview today and have two more this week.

on halloween i found 80 bucks just lying on the floor at a club.

Obama won.. YES! god if he didnt there would be some angry peoples including me.

Xanex

Im loving the label on this Xanex bottle.... it's funny it's such a tiny pill. I took it 9 minutes ago.... says it should impair my judgement.... lets see what happens.... btw its explosive or at least that's what the sticker may lead me to believe....ok i feel a little funny... and im offffff.......