Her thoughts never spoken

It’s growing colder…
She yearns for his attention…
She questions her decisions…
She misses his smile…
She misses his touch…
Would it be different…
Should she have let things stay as they were...
Will this feeling go away…
Better to hurt now, better to hurt later.
When she’s in his presence she holds back her tears.
Swallowing tight trying to disengage her mind from the unpleasant thoughts.
Her mind wanders.
She thinks about a receipt lying on the floor.
What did he buy, was he thinking of her.
Why was he on her mind endlessly, with little to no interruption…
Even with this moment in time that she has gotten to be once more be by his side she wonders endlessly.
Wishing she could stay, wishing the moments didn’t pass as they did.
Wishing he wanted to kiss her passionately against the door not letting her turn the knob to leave.
Wishing as they headed down the stairs he’d grab her and take her in his arms, carrying her back up the steps that took them winding farther and father away from one another.
Wishing as she would.
Wishing he wouldn’t let her get on the train.
They stand there, eyes locked.
He grins, teeth showing, kisses her lightly.
They’re fingers tangled together, slowly separate, finger by finger letting go.
She pulls him back in and kisses him holding his head, fingers in between blades of hair.
She knows when they depart they will be strangers once more.
His grocery receipts, a crease in his shirt, the way he walked home that night, who he saw, who he was with, whether he laughed, whether he cried, whether he missed her, whether he was happy, what he read, what he put off to do tomorrow, all a mystery.